VICE Sports: LeBron James Is The NBA’s Anachronistic Superstar

I wrote about this young actor for VICE Sports. He is also an old NBA player from Ohio. Did you know that according to the Harvard Sports Analysis Collective, Michael Jordan was the only player to score a non-dunk field goal in the original Space Jam? That Space Jam 2 role is perfect, because LeBron has forgotten how to shoot, [&hellip

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After Feasting On Philly’s Famine, Sam Hinkie Finally Surrendered To His Sixerphean Fate

  In the quarter-century since it’s inception, Apollo Global Management, LLC has feasted on famines to become a multi-billion dollar entity. Their investment in LyondellBasell Chemical seven years ago was arguably their most successful. At that point in 2009, LyondellBasell was inhaling monumental financial losses. It was the corporate equivalent to asbestos filling the lungs.  In January 2009, they declared [&hellip

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Nick ‘Young And The Restless’ Lakers

From the rolling hills of Burbank, to the hustle and bustle of downtown Los Angeles’ hazy air, inside auditoriums at USC and along the coasts of Santa Monica are thousands of actors who would kill for the exposure that Nick Young has received from his starring role in D’Angelo Russell’s short film. Before the season, I began calling the Lakers [&hellip

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LeBron’s Anti-Social Media Strategy Is Inviting Mutiny

From the start of this season, LeBahhh.. Humbug James has milked the fun out of the 2015-16 Cavaliers. It’s part of his continued effort to veer in the opposite direction of the happy-go lucky James who had to swallow his own jocular promise of not 5, not 6, not 7 titles during his early years with the Miami Heat. These [&hellip

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The Darkest Timeline: Sam Hinkie’s Plan To Tank America Great Again

None of the events described below has occurred in our reality. They are simply glimpses of the darkest possible timeline in our vast multiverse. One in which puppies are extinct, Peyton Manning was forced to retire from football during his freshman year at college, Cooper Manning is the MVP  of Super Bowl 50 and pterodactyls pluck unsuspecting pedestrians off the [&hellip

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